Shadow
by Vampire00Diaries
Summary: He wonders if he'll ever let himself reach out and touch her. What will happen if he does... In the midst of suffering at the bottom of the lake, Stefan hallucinates about Elena.


_"With nothing left of you to remind me_

_Why are you still standing behind me?"_

* * *

Everything he needs is right here, on this bed. His entire world exists beneath these wrinkled, cotton sheets; while earth rotates and the seasons evolve, they stay completely still, never aging, never touching. He is left victim to her, watching motionless as she turns her head to face him, her placid eyes the color of melting chocolate in those commercials they would sometimes watch together on those chilly November nights. He never has had quite the taste for chocolate, but there is nothing in her gaze that makes him taste it on his lips. Maybe it's because _her_ lips always tasted like chocolate. Or maybe they didn't. It has been so long that he forgets what they taste like; he hopes it's chocolate.

They are so close that he can feel the warmth radiating off of her body. He wishes he could touch her, but he's so content that he doesn't dare move. The edge of her forefinger gently grazes his palm and it's all the contact he needs. Sometimes he finds himself staring at her lips, at the gentle upward curve they seem to naturally have. Sometimes he's staring at her skin, at her leg that has peeked out from the covers. Barely half of her calf is exposed, a beautiful olive against the white sheets. She is stunning beside him, her dark hair flowing across the pillows like a second covering. Everything is a flawless contrast against itself. She is art to him. He loves her.

He wonders if he'll ever let himself touch her. What will happen if he does.

Some days, she speaks to him. She opens her beautiful mouth and forms words that he cannot comprehend. The sound of rushing water overpowers her subtle, feminine voice. He furrows his brows for a moment before remembering, oh, there's a river under there. There's a rushing, relentless river flowing through the legs of their steady, mounted bed, right beneath their adjacent bodies.

And so, he just stares back at her, trying to make sense of the words on her lips he wishes he could fathom but cannot. All he knows, while she speaks, is that he is suddenly overwhelmed by the sensation of _missing her, _although she is right beside him. He wants to kiss her, claim her, but something in the back of his mind tells him it is off limits. Against the rules. But he's tired of watching. Always just watching. Maybe if he leans in a little bit, he can hear her…

He leans in, and rediscovers her voice. It reminds him of dripping honey, rain. "No matter what happens, it's the best choice I ever made," she whispers, her tone full of tantalizing promise and aching nostalgia. And then she says it again. And again. And he realizes that it's all she's been saying all along.

He tries to find his voice, but doesn't quite remember how. So, instead, he leans in and kisses her, his body stiff and trembling as she slowly responds. As if she'd been expecting it, she places her hand on the back of his neck, her fingers sensually tangling in the hair at the back of his head.

He was wrong. Her lips do not taste like chocolate. They taste like _her _and that is the only way he could ever describe it. Like Elena.

And then, he is on top of her, her soft kisses filling his body with a magical sensation that strangely reminds him of flying. _I miss her_, he thinks again, and this time, it truly makes no sense. She is here, beneath him, _on _him, and yet he misses her. The sound of rushing water fills his mind.

"I love you, Stefan. Hold onto that. Never let that go."

And now, as she barely pulls away and whispers the words against his lips, his heart suddenly feels heavy and he no longer feels like he is flying. He opens his eyes and gazes into her deep, brown ones, his expression replete with puzzlement. She only smiles and runs her thumb along his bottom lip.

"I love _you, _Stefan. _You_."

He finds it hard to swallow. His lungs feel like they are going to burst.

"It's always going to be Stefan," she promises. His mind feels heavy, his veins aching like two pieces of sandpaper rubbing together. He doesn't understand what's going on, but he hangs on to her final words, that gentle smile still present on her beautiful face.

"Out of all of the choices I've made this will prove to be the worst one, but I am not sorry that I am in love with you," she says, and his world shatters. He doesn't know why, but his heart breaks into a million pieces and his lungs are aching ten times more than they were before. Before he can even make sense of what is happening, with that smile still present on her face, she gives him a gentle nudge and he falls off of the bed, into the icy water. Sinking, and sinking…

"I love you, Damon," she says.

He quickly wakes himself up, his eyes flashing open only to be met with darkness. Where is the air? Why is everything so dense? Panicking, he quickly sucks in. Water fills his lungs and he easily succumbs once again to unconsciousness. So long as it means he gets to see her again…

He doesn't know what hurts more anymore. His body, or his heart.

* * *

_"I'm trying hard to forget you_

_But my empty walls won't let me let you go_

_**When you took it all you forgot your shadow**."_

* * *

_AN: Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed! Please review & favorite if you can! The song used at the beginning and end is called "Shadow" by Sam Tsui. Beautiful song- definitely check it out!_


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